Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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