Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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