I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
try to milk me bitch
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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