Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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