she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize