whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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