yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize