I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp...herpes.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize