people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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