she was so not down for the gang bang
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
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and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
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I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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