I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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