So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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