dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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