Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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