I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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