I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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