It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
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I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
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Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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