Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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