Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
nutella sex= disaster
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize