Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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