Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
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Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
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he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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