hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize