Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
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He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
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