Sponge bath it is.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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