I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
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yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Can you bring me the toilet please
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you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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