I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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