I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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