I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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