oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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