So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
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threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
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Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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