I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just had sex bonerless
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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