and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I will pee on everything he values.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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