Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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