No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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