He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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