Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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