So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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