The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
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I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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