He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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