Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
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Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
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You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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