Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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