He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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