I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
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But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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