He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
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He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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