dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize