you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
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