Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize