I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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