3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
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I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
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My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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