but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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